The final 3 weeks... and I'm really starting to feel depressed.

2006-10-15T00:26:00.000-05:00

My name is Bryn Lawson and I am only in my late thirties. That's young, right??? Well, I'm about to become a GRANDMOTHER for cryin' out loud. In about 3 weeks. That's it. Only 3 weeks left in my life as I know it. It's all about to change. And so far, I've been the perky, positive, supportive person I'm supposed to be. But I knew it was coming. I even started back on Prozac a couple months ago KNOWING I was speeding toward a brick wall and my brakes were probably going to fail. And they are. So I turn to blogging to RELEASE my TRUE feelings - under an assumed identity lest someone I know might see this.

No one - and I mean NO ONE - in my life knows what I'm about to spew here. And I'd like to keep it that way. If everyone knew what I was REALLY feeling, they might feel sorry for me or want to give me advice or some crap like that. And if my DD knew, she'd be crushed. I won't do that to her. I'd rather go on PRETENDING everything is fine rather than speak these feelings out loud to someone. I mean, I'd surely be judged and criticized and THAT is something I don't handle very well.

So, this is it. A secret place to vent. I love it! I'm thankful to give these thoughts a place to live OUTSIDE my head where they'll be safe.